black and white…my favourite :3
Are you hungry? Bake a cake!
self portrait from month ago…
I’m a “self portrait” photographer who hates his appearance, I think that’s pretty fucking funny.
And though I still can’t stop taking these…paradox, lovely paradox
Every night, I cry a lot
Every day, I wish you’ll spot
Every day, you just pass by
Every day, I want you to stand by
Then every night, I think a lot
Every time, I find out, that you won’t spot, won’t stand by
Every day, I want to shout
Every day, I close my mouth
And every night, I dream about, what would be if I was loud
And for six months now, I still don’t know, if except knot, I shouldn’t make a dot.
This should be a diary of our love story, but the love disappeared somehow.
You, rested your head,
on my shoulder, left shoulder.
That moment, I will remember,
till the end of the time, simply forever.
My hand, right hand,
on your back, on your head.
I didn’t even notice, when the hand,
landed on you.
Then I moved, my head,
closer to yours, they were too close,
almost became one.
Our faces, have never been closer,
before that moment, when you felt tired.
I closed my eyes, and you closed yours,
but all through this, we were looking to eyes, of one another,
without a single move, shake, blink.
I was trying, to make my voice,
calm you down, and slow down your heart.
I wanted to stop the time, because I wanted,
to remember everything, everyone, passing around.
I stroked your back, played with your hair,
and I hope you felt my breath and that it was fine.
These little moments, will remain long,
in my memory, in my mind.
Forever, they will occupate most of the place,
in my head, that used to be free.
If you knew, you filled my head,
and now I have something, to think about.
In that moment, when this all happened, when I finally admitted it,
mixed feelings danced all around.
If things were right, or totally wrong,
I couldn’t be anything, but grateful for how long….
How long that moment lasted, even when it wasn’t enough,
for me to look around and memorize it all.
It was the first time, our faces were in touch,
the first time when I felt, somebody’s heart in mine.
And now after that, after all of this,
I am asking, a few simple things.
How it will be, when you’ll come back,
tomorrow evening, and see me the next day?
Will I meet you in the hall, will it be the same,
same as this Friday, when you made me feel alive?
Will anything happen, more than just bad grades, will I get more, than goosebumps on some place?
Will that look appear, again on your face,
somewhere in near future, veins filled with grace?
Or all of this was lie, one I wanted to trust,
only empty words, which soon all will burst?
Midday and eight minutes more. Sun shines, wind blows. And I sit here, in peace, in love, but still alone. What I see? Pure beauty, different flowers, blue blue sky, greenest grass and raspberries. Butterflies swirling around, dogs barking somewhere in the distance. I don’t feel so alone now, but it’s still without you. Wish you were here, wish we were together, but does this make a sense? Maybe and maybe not, nobody knows but I will wait. Once I fell in something, it is a long distance run. So I mean it with you, ah if you knew. Knew about me, my thoughts, my feelings, my fantasies. About the things which reminds me of you. The old roofs in same color as your hair, creek so smooth as your skin, sky so clear as your eyes. Everywhere I look, I see you, everywhere I go, are you, you are everything, my everything, you are me, I am you, we are one from my point of view. I would give everything for this thoughts to be in you. And when the sky is full of clouds, when the creek freeze, when grass turn to autumn color, when flowers fade away and when roofs are hidden in fog, you disappear, i see nothing, there is nothing, only emptiness, everywhere, around, in me.