Every night, I cry a lot
Every day, I wish you’ll spot
Every day, you just pass by
Every day, I want you to stand by
Then every night, I think a lot
Every time, I find out, that you won’t spot, won’t stand by
Every day, I want to shout
Every day, I close my mouth
And every night, I dream about, what would be if I was loud
And for six months now, I still don’t know, if except knot, I shouldn’t make a dot.
Every night, I cry a lot
You don’t know how happy you are until you make someone else happy.
Accept my silence, and I will fall in love with you.
This should be a diary of our love story, but the love disappeared somehow.
You, rested your head,
on my shoulder, left shoulder.
That moment, I will remember,
till the end of the time, simply forever.
My hand, right hand,
on your back, on your head.
I didn’t even notice, when the hand,
landed on you.
Then I moved, my head,
closer to yours, they were too close,
almost became one.
Our faces, have never been closer,
before that moment, when you felt tired.
I closed my eyes, and you closed yours,
but all through this, we were looking to eyes, of one another,
without a single move, shake, blink.
I was trying, to make my voice,
calm you down, and slow down your heart.
I wanted to stop the time, because I wanted,
to remember everything, everyone, passing around.
I stroked your back, played with your hair,
and I hope you felt my breath and that it was fine.
These little moments, will remain long,
in my memory, in my mind.
Forever, they will occupate most of the place,
in my head, that used to be free.
If you knew, you filled my head,
and now I have something, to think about.
In that moment, when this all happened, when I finally admitted it,
mixed feelings danced all around.
If things were right, or totally wrong,
I couldn’t be anything, but grateful for how long….
How long that moment lasted, even when it wasn’t enough,
for me to look around and memorize it all.
It was the first time, our faces were in touch,
the first time when I felt, somebody’s heart in mine.
And now after that, after all of this,
I am asking, a few simple things.
How it will be, when you’ll come back,
tomorrow evening, and see me the next day?
Will I meet you in the hall, will it be the same,
same as this Friday, when you made me feel alive?
Will anything happen, more than just bad grades, will I get more, than goosebumps on some place?
Will that look appear, again on your face,
somewhere in near future, veins filled with grace?
Or all of this was lie, one I wanted to trust,
only empty words, which soon all will burst?
Midday and eight minutes more. Sun shines, wind blows. And I sit here, in peace, in love, but still alone. What I see? Pure beauty, different flowers, blue blue sky, greenest grass and raspberries. Butterflies swirling around, dogs barking somewhere in the distance. I don’t feel so alone now, but it’s still without you. Wish you were here, wish we were together, but does this make a sense? Maybe and maybe not, nobody knows but I will wait. Once I fell in something, it is a long distance run. So I mean it with you, ah if you knew. Knew about me, my thoughts, my feelings, my fantasies. About the things which reminds me of you. The old roofs in same color as your hair, creek so smooth as your skin, sky so clear as your eyes. Everywhere I look, I see you, everywhere I go, are you, you are everything, my everything, you are me, I am you, we are one from my point of view. I would give everything for this thoughts to be in you. And when the sky is full of clouds, when the creek freeze, when grass turn to autumn color, when flowers fade away and when roofs are hidden in fog, you disappear, i see nothing, there is nothing, only emptiness, everywhere, around, in me.
Five in the morning, we both on our own. Today I am leaving, but not far away.
I wish only one thing, you to know. To know that I am leaving, but my heart will stay.
Here on it’s own, but not all alone. Floating around, when you’ll sing along.
Wish the song was about us, our future our plans, we only are together, all time holding hands.
But there is a thing, you know nothing at all, about my feelings and heart staying alone.
Will there come a while, of you, of me, for us to be together and start to believe?
So many questions floats in the air, also I know, life will never be fair.
I won’t get my answers, I won’t get my time and wishes will never, never be true.
All through all this, I still will pray, for us lying in the forest, while holding hands.
And maybe that’s the way, the way of my end, forever dreaming, forever blind.
People would do anything for love.
But what am I doing?
Nothing at all.
I just am.
On the look, as I was before.
But what about inside?
Heart skips a beat when I see the one.
Bones are shaking when I am with the one.
Head is thinking about future, about us.
Brain no more counts with one. Memory opens it’s library of moments and pictures.
And I, all through this, don’t do anything.
I am speechless,
„We are what we do. And when we do nothing, we also are nothing. ”
…I asked him „Will you be my friend?” with no love in it. Two or three days later, I met him and his friend on the street. We stood there together a few minutes. His friend went home and he took a walk to the bus stop with me. We talked. And I asked „ When you are not from here, then from where?” And then IT came. He replied „From the planet B612.”
I think that this was “The Moment”. The moment when it all started. The moment, when people were here to make me happy, not me to make them happy. When the depression left. When I felt butterflies in my stomach. When every unread book seemed read already. Like there came the end at the same time with start. Like the sun started to shine also finally for me. It was like and avalanche, or a big rain, a storm! The way nature showed what she’s able to do.
Clouds disappeared, leafs aren’t wet already, there’s only one feeling, as when gossamer is waiting around the corner to come. It was a feeling of love. Not love, but falling in love.
That was THE MOMENT, I’m sure now.
The same day we met on exhibition. He waved but he didn’t really need to do it. I already knew that he is there. I felt the energy, his energy and then also his hair appeared in the distance. Wr were together the whole evening, even through I came there with one friend.
Then I had to go, but he went with me, again, as sooner that day. I held his hand, like not hand, elbow, all the way. It rained, and street lights illuminated our faces. And then, on the corner, nex to a big crossroad, library and old church with rooster on the top, he asked „Will you be my friend?”
The time stopped, my heart skipped a beat and I said „Yes.” as he said a few days before. But in my head there was a different word „Forever”.
At the end of our-my way, we stood opposite each other. I was looking at him. He was looking at me. We stood there, as this, without a word, and a single blink. Then I gave him *or he gave me, I don’t know* the biggest hug. I could never be happier.
The next day in the morning, I found a message sent at night: „I came. I haven’t forgot. You are amazing.”
And then, how can I not fall in love?